3rd in a Series of Letting Go

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Down the rabbit hole and the only substance involved was raw, unfiltered, multidimensional Life.

For the past two weeks these blog posts have been about Letting Go and that theme continued as a lived experience for me this past week.  Our collective move from life in 3D to life in 5D is uncharted territory. Nothing is the same as it was, we are not quite sure how we got here and we have no clue as to what is next. There are moments that are super challenging and cause us to have to let go of rational understanding. Our hearts are open, and our eyes, yet the shifts are rapid and complete; at times it feels like we are white water rafting in the course of daily life. Whew!

The Move

In response to my personal alignment with this shift to 5D, I have made major life changes. I left employment that I enjoyed, yet was done with, and left family and friends to relocate to be near a big, beautiful, massive body of water in daily life. This move was an affirmative response to a call from Nature to live near Lake Superior, and in a place where I might find more community than I had previously known. I, like so many others, have been aching for community.

I have found community and the sustaining beauty of nature, however, after one year, I do not feel settled.  At times I feel like a ping pong ball in my own life. Here, there, where? This was not how it was “supposed” to be.  I made the move in good faith and with informed choice, yet the settling in experience, at times, feels severe.

This week, my letting go experience was in releasing to full and total surrender. As children in play, we used to call this “crying uncle.” In adult life, it is unconditioned surrender. Feeling through each Now is all that I can do. Multidimensional consciousness is just that; we are living with layers of consciousness like the layers of bands within old trees and layers of sediment from the surface of the Earth to its core. We have to deal with multiple levels simultaneously. This can feel confusing and overwhelming, beyond the capacities of our regular coping. We need a bigger field of coping and surrender, with its release of conditioned responses, helps us find our way within this larger, untraveled territory.

I used to work as a professional astrologer and pieces of that work continue through my current work with Natural Time and Intuition and Time as a Felt Experience, with Body as Timer.  I let go of working more fully with astrology because it seems to me that we are, collectively, working with a much bigger canvas now than our solar system. It seems to me that we are working with systems way beyond what is known. By systems, I mean galactic and supergalactic spirals of cosmic community. We have been invited to this grand new arena, yet we do not know the territory. We learn as we go.

As a way of dealing with multidimensional living, I do, occasionally, look at my own chart and have awareness of major transits as they occur in real time.  One of the major transits that I have going on now, personally, has traditionally been associated with depression. It is a reformative energy on the emotional life, this I know. This transit has had one layer of the multilayer effect of multidimensional life now and that contributing effect takes me to rock bottom where the only viable option is to walk in the forest of surrender.

Angst, yes, momentarily, however, also a gift. This most recent experience of surrender has helped me release me from willfulness, force and effort. Ah, yes. If only. In my current state, I have had to let go of thinking that I have answers for major life choices, like living here, there, where? In my current state of accepted surrender, my recourse is to keep moving through each moment with the inner inquiry of “What’s next.” Where is the energy for me in this moment? What calls my attention for focus? Where do I feel alignment? Each choice has to be consciously considered and long-term planning is not operational.

Choice-making

In everyone’s life there are myriad choices regarding what can bring happiness, what can bring joy, what can bring money, what can bring fulfillment, what can bring connection. In my personal life, with this collective, unprecedented shift of dimensional consciousness, I pay attention to what has my awareness, I offer daily prayer for dissolution of the veil between conscious and unconscious and I ask and listen regarding what has life for me and what does not have life for me.

I ask for help, from my Soul, from the New Field, from Life, to breathe through the rocks and hard places, breath through the angst, breath through the FEAR, breath through not knowing. With all that breathing, I notice that I am still standing. It is not easy, yet there are moments of relief, release, wonder and informed direction.

It helps to pay attention to the things that matter to me.  For instance, there was a communal invitation this week was to participate in a labyrinth walk, part of World Labyrinth Day. I have walked labyrinths before and while this spiritual practice has not been a personal path for me, I did want to participate in this local event.

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Art work by Aureal Williams

Our group was blessed by a facilitator who knows labyrinth walking. He suggested that we start our walk with an intentional prayer and work with the 3 Rs, Release as we go in; Receive as we are at the Center; Return (to wholeness) on the walk out. Being in active surrender mode now, the release part was comforting. In the center of the labyrinth that we walked, there is a bench. As I reached the center, I sat on the bench, deeply kissed by the sun, and I asked to receive. Information came pouring through the sunrays and up through the encircled Earth and through the silent care of community. It was magnificent.  Answers did come, pieces of the big puzzle of a personal life, sustaining filaments threading to next moments.

Our lives are unfolding in sometimes angst-filled ways, not unlike earlier times in everyone’s life. Yet now, the path is uncharted and long term planning seems defunct. We are doing this new life piece by piece, choice by choice. It hurts if we try to get too far ahead of ourselves because then we are taken away from the moment, where the information is. I was driven to the ground of surrender and I did surrender. It seems that this is the beginning of a new world, not the end. With each surrender, and based on my own inner sensate volition, my own, sharply honed inner truth discerning of “Yes, this does have life for me or no, thank you, I pass,” I align with this greater canvas of uncharted territory, this bigger picture that is dancing us into our new life.

Like so many others, I thought this process would be over by now, that we would have reached the land of Nirvana and life would be easy, breezy and effortless. I have been on this path since the Harmonic Convergence of August, 1987 and the “payoff” always seems just around the corner. As I experienced in the labyrinth walk, the corners keep turning.

How about you and your life challenges now? Is surrender part of the currency of your life, too? Do share your surrender story in the comments below.

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