Personal Dark Moon, December 8 2012


Orion's Umbra

jah~ via Compfight

As I have shared many times and in many places before, in 1993, through a kinesthetic body experience, I “recovered” (in contrast to discovered!) a pattern of energy that is based on the phase of the Moon in which one is born.  Since that time I have lived with this cycle, planned life around its optimization, teach the technique and use it with intuitive counseling clients.  It has always been a hard sell, as modern life has been far removed from living with the rhythms of the Moon. When I first started blogging, I wrote posts about my experiences with this cycle.  It has been awhile since I have shared in that way.  A recent upsurge in client requests for this work and my own experience in this particular dark moon personal cycle prompt me to write this post.

Everyone has their own phase of the Moon in which they are born, one half of the two half cycle (New Moon to Full, Full to Dark Moon), one phase out of the 28 phase cycle, one phase out of the four quarter phase cycle, one phase out of the Moon’s eight phase cycle. Your sun/moon phase angle is unique to you. My sun/moon phase angle is when the sun and the moon are at 290 degrees apart each lunation, toward the end of the lunar cycle. Those of us born in the last half of the cycle tend to need a fuller stop in our dark Moon phases than those born in the first half of the cycle.

My new moon in the personal cycle occurs at 2:46 AM December 8, 2012, less than 12 hours of my writing this post. The New Moon, in both the personal and collective cycle is like the reset button and the three days before the New Moon, especially the 24 hours before, is known as the Dark of the Moon.

Ordinarily during this dark moon time , I take to the bed, reading mysteries or simply resting.  I have done some of that this dark moon. I also find myself upright, writing and it feels good. Leading in to this dark moon phase of the cycle I have had two days of down time. I have had appointments, however, easy and with no external pressure.  So, I come into this phase more relaxed than I usually am in my personal dark moon time.  The one word that comes to describe this particular cycle is sweet.  There is a lot of ease surrounding me right now, perhaps that ease has always been there and I am simply noticing it more.

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fdecomite via Compfight

Manifestation is another energy that is showing up in this dark moon phase.  Some posts earlier, I wrote about wanting a colouring book that had images of toruses in it. I did found a colouring book and gifted myself with it as a holiday gift. It arrived and I am working with it, however, it takes a lot of time to colour a page in this book and that is not how I want to spend time right now.  Seeing the image of torus in this book sparked the memory of slinkys.  Yesterday, I went out in search of a slinky and found one.  Quick manifestation has been happening a lot lately and I love it.  Maybe direct manifestation experiences are taking some of the edge of life off, allowing for more trust and ease.  I am also making more connections with people through direct contact and social media.  Meaningful connections, seeing and being seen, always helps as a life support.

I have the slinky on my desk, it is a small one, quite transportable, and as I play with it and bring it into its own full circle, there is tangible, visual reminder of what my teacher, Michele Mayama suggests: that the shape of our chakras are shifting into the torodial shape. The movie Thrive sources energy in the universe as related to the torus shape.

With the dark Moon in the personal lunar cycle, there seems to be a homecoming of sorts; of information and experiences settling in as one cycle completes and the next cycle is about to begin. As the torus shape shows us, there is continual unfolding, circle upon circle.  In a torus, the edges are softer, rounder, folding over into one’s self for a distinct experience of completion  continued. That is what the moon’s cycles do, too.

Obstacles!

Since I last posted on the Mayan Calendar shift, I have been in the midst of a major personal shift in this historic transition time.  Because of this monumental shift that we are in I thought, erronously, that for those of us who have been working  eons on our conscious evolution, the really hard times were over. These past few weeks, however, have been one of the hardest times of my life, challening and changing me to the core. One challenge after another, some within 24 hours of the last challenge, finally got me to find humour and now I am at a point where I can write about this trying time.

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For those who like details here is a list:

Stifling heat for days on end without benefit of home air conditioner and with effect of standstill in life/work

Money blues in the deep blue shade

Mercury retrograde shadow activity that took one full day, over eight hours, troubleshooting out-of-blue tech problem, resolved effectively

Spending two hours on a post for this blog, deleting picture that I chose for it and in that process deleting entire post, despite having saved the text. Unable to retrieve post.

Interpersonal dynamic of subtle hostility that I tolerated for a long time and then could no longer tolerate and had to stand up for myself and say No, you cannot do this to me

More debilitating, immobilizing heat

House robbery with loss of television and IPad, which I was using as main tech device

Impulse to move, housing search, not fruitful

Magnificent, crackling thunderstorm, loss of electricity for one long evening

Loss of phone service for 24 hours due to storm

Mouse stopped working, no computer access because of it

Another loss of blog post, this one, which my great tech wizard, Eugen Oprea, helped recover

Listing the facts does not quite convey the stopped and shaken to the core experience that has been my life for the past couple of weeks.  I have been through tough times before, many, and was able to rebound with gratitude for the challenges, new levels of awareness and strengthened connection with Life that comes from navigating challening times. I did my best to remember this patterning, that out of difficulty and confusion and chaos comes a higher order of functioning.  This time, though, the challenges were really hard and I often found myself in a state of contraction and fear. Not good.

In describing my situation to a dear friend, I shared that it felt like I was in the second phase of the birthing process, a place I have been stuck before, in my own birth, in fact.  I am the first of four children and my mother’s labor with me took over 24 hours, something she reminded me of often.  After my birth, my mother delivered my three siblings by cesarean section.

My friend stated that she had just been reading something about the birth matrices.  Her mention of this reminded me of my training as a craniosacral therapist in the Milne tradition. Our course trainings involved study of Stanislav Grof’s great and pioneering work with the four birth matrices. I recognized that the place I was stuck is the second phase, when uterine contractions are strong and the cervix is closed, there is no way out. It feels like being trapped with a threat of annihilation.

As I look back on my life I sense that I have been at this place of constriction and stuckness, the dynamic of Birth Matrice II, many times. In this recent time, there is fuller light on the dynamic and I recognize it and claim it for what it is. In the uterine environment we are still being breathed through the umbilical cord.  In life out of the womb, at times like this, we often forget to breath. What I see as the medicine for the Birth Matrice II is to relax and wait.  That is all I could effectively do in this recent time, anyway. Relaxing accepts that there is nothing one can do except wait. The wait is for the Mother’s rhythm and fetal rhythm to synchronize and build sufficient momentum  for the fetus to spiral down the passageway and out through an open cervix.

In life outside of the womb, the medicine for being stuck in the second Birth Matrice is also to relax and wait for synchronization with Earth/Cosmos/Physicality to propel forward. It is hard to wait in the dark; I have been doing that a lot lately and not appreciating the gift of it. Such waiting with awareness requires access to a different umbilical cord, the umblical cord that comes up from our place on Earth, up through our feet and legs and root and second chakra, up through our bodies.  Waiting in the dark has to have an activated component of Trust. A trust that it is okay not to know, that it is okay to wait. This kind of challenge requires sensate synchronicity with Cosmos to feel, and feel is the operative energy here, when and where it is time to move forward.  Ah, can you feel the relief in that kind of living?  Often, we live from our mind with hyper alertness or over-vigilance and major contraction when we don’t know what’s next or what to do. That doesn’t work for me anymore.

I want life the new way, trusting in Life, in Source, in my connection with Great Mother, Great Cosmos to keep life alive and full of mystery and adventure and learning and arcing the curve of evolutionary awakening.  Are you with me?

These imprints of the birth experience repeat through our life times, perhaps until we fully and completely move through the phase. You can look online to learn more about which birth phase might resonate with you. Contact me  if you would like my assist with your mysterious path of unfolding, either as an intuitive mentoring guide over the phone or with hands-on craniosacral work in the Greater Cincinnati area.

Personal Dark Moon, May 2012 Experience

Noche de luna llena - Full moon night
Photo Credit: Luz Adriana Villa via Compfight

I have been living with the Personal Lunar Cycle since I “recovered” it through a kinesthetic body experience in 1993. After tracking it for myself for two years, I wrote about it and then taught it. Prior to my work with the Personal Lunar Cycle, I had been aligning with the rhythmic flow of the Collective Lunar Cycle since the late 1960s. I have come to know these natural rhythms as inner energy cycles. Syncing with natural cycles is one  prime way to deepen work with intuition, as one is timed and aligned with the living world.  Coherency and synchronicity are natural outcomes of this work.

The Dark Moon phase, the last of the eight lunar phases, occurs three days before each New Moon. Energetically, the Dark Moon phase represents a call to stop and dissolve before the renewal that occurs with each New Moon. The Dark Moon phase is like the interphase in the cell cycle, that phase of stop right before the next cell division.  The Dark Moon Phase is also like the night cycle in the day/night rhythm or the dark stillness of winter within the seasonal cycle.

I can share with you that there is almost always a struggle to rest with the Dark Moon Phase.  Either  there is internal resistance to rest, or an external struggle to rest that  comes from obstacles or judgements of others around us. In our society and culture  rest is not an authentic activity.  As hard as it is to listen and acquiesce when our bodies and nature call us to rest, the consequences of not doing so affect mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health and well-being. We can not push upstream in a downstream time and not pay for it with body, mind and soul.

So readers can understand what living with the Personal Lunar Cycle involves, I share my experience of the past Dark Moon phase in my own Personal Lunar Cycle.  The gravitational pull to stop and rest during this Dark Moon time started on Friday and it was profound.  Rest was all that I could do.  I said yes and viscerally understood that this is what I needed. After 19 years of living with this innate cycle I schedule around them. I had one task to do that day, and that was to pay a bill. It took all that I had to meet that task with completion.  Other than that, I rested and read mysteries.

 It was a nice day outside, sunny and in the 70s.  When my sister called for our daily check-in, I could hear in her voice that she thought that I should get up and do something.  Most of the time, my sister  honors my choices in life and has acknowledged her own pull to gravity during her personal dark moons. However, on this day, she seemed to want something different for me than lying under the covers.

I  have my own inner resistance to laying low, yet on this day, here it was, my beloved sister, tonally urging me to get moving. I am telling you readers, it is hard to listen to one’s own inner wisdom and give your heart, soul and physicality what it needs. After hearing my sister’s tone of voice, there was a moment, more than a moment actually, when I questioned my own choice. The pull to gravity was so strong and profound, though, that all I could do was surrender deep into quiet stillness. There is an exquisiteness to that surrender, a profound yes within all of my cells, to let go into doing nothing. 


IMG_1425Photo by Aureal Williams

Saturday morning, still in the Dark Moon phase, I ran an errand and had the energy to do it.  Saturday afternoon and evening I participated in an online/phone workshop and took to the bed for that participation.  I fell asleep during some of the processes, which I often do regardless of Moon timing.  In combination of my receptivity to slow stillness in my Personal Dark Moon phase and the information coming to me through the wisdom of the workshop, I was aware of a profound opening in my second chakra.  This sensation was visceral, like this portal of energy opening access for me. There was a magnetic pull of my second chakra opening a viable link to Earth Mother. It was a profound experience of nourishment, recognition and enrichment. The energy of the second chakra that opened for me relates to the second chakra’s function of individual choice, what is it that I want.  This whole area of my body/consciousness was being fed with animate life.  My second chakra was alive, integrated and functioning. Along with this opening came a deeper relaxation into life.

Sunday, was a divinely rainy day here and as the morning flowed, I continued with slow rhythming and did things I was moved to do, like reading for pleasure, watching some TV. The New Moon for me in the Personal Cycle occurred around 12:40 PM. A New Moon has to find its legs, so around 5:30 PM I was activated, cleaning, doing laundry, making dinner with a tender aliveness. Deeper breathing, fuller consciousness, greater gratitude  and conscious awareness of a second chakra that had the experience of belonging.  

And today, Monday, I write to share about this recent experience of of descent and renewal with the Moon. I am off into my new lunar cycle, a new beginning, restored refreshed and ready.

If you sense a repeating pattern of needing to stop within your months, you might be tuning into your own personal lunar cycle rhythm. It is an exquisite patterning, one full of creative potential for fulfillment and well-being and wholeness. If you would like a companion guide to help you maximize this cycle, let me know!

I Have More Space

Did you ever have one of those experiences where you thought you were making a good choice and it really was a poor choice and because of the poor choice you felt like you needed to wash inside and out for about a day and half?  I just had one of those remarkable learning experiences.

 

It was my day off and I went to the movies.  The movie was okay, however, it left me feeling a little flat, like, “So what?” After that, I was feeling hungry and there are not too many restaurants I can enjoy because I eat naturally and/or organic and I cannot stand sugar in my food. Those parameters leave me with limited choices for dining out.

 

There is a relatively new restaurant in my town that I had been wanting to try and I thought, ‘Why not today?”  First, I went about looking for it without an address. I knew the street it was on, so I traveled that street one end to the next, without finding the place.  At the end of the street, while turning around in a driveway, I pulled out my  phone and got the street number.  I found the place, parked and went in.

 

Here is where I made my first poor choice.  I did not like the vibe as I entered the place and I ignored this awareness. I did not like the set up, physically, and I did not appreciate the vibe of the people.  It was all about the food for me — this was advertised as “good” food, so I kept my focus narrowed and limited and ignored the bigger picture of what I sensed around me.

 

I went ahead and ordered.  I needed a simple substitution of yeast-free bread, which this restaurant had, however, not with the sandwich that I ordered.  The waiter was not open to that substitution, so I ordered something other than what I really wanted.  Then, the place had multiple TVs turned on.  I like TV, not in restaurants though, and the electromagnetic experience of the TVs was extremely upsetting to my nervous system.  The food was edible, not great. How could the food possibly be good for me if the vibe of the place wasn’t resonant?

 

I left in an upset state and with much regret.  I felt dirty, inside and out, violated and it was from my own ignorance.  It took me a day and a half to shake the experience and to calm down back to center. In reflection, what I learned is that I need to expand my awareness into the space around me.  I have to have a multidimensional view, not the narrow view of single-minded focus, in this case, lunch.  There was a natural foods store nearby, I could have gone there for something to eat.  It wouldn’t have offered a dining in experience, however, it would have been a wiser choice for me.

 

Stubbornness, obstinacy, insistence, these all got in my way that day. What I learned from this painful experience is that I can include an experience of the space above my head, it is a source of informing in chakras systems and I can also include the space around my physical body in my choice making.  In many healing systems that space around our bodies is the aura and that also holds sources of information for us.  This painful, constricting experience was a teaching moment for me to use the space around and above me, and I am going to include under me to, because as above, so below.  If there is an informing space above, there is also an informing space below my feet, too, that I can access for information.  What I learned from this experience is that intuition not only comes from an inner body awareness. I learned that I have informing space around my whole body that also assists me to choose wisely, from informed knowing. I want, and need, to breathe through all this space as I walk through this amazing, choice-filled life.

 

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